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It’s simple to think about what’s going via Donald Trump’s head proper now. I can hear his inside monologue all the way in which from Mar-a-Lago. He’s fulminating, working himself as much as one other epic meltdown, like he had over Nikki Haley the night time he gained the New Hampshire major. The ideas pinballing via Trump’s cortex is perhaps one thing like this:
“I like Taylor Swift. I do. She’s made a profession of revenge, which will get my Full and Complete Endorsement. She’s stunning, simply my sort, in contrast to that wack job E. Jean Carroll and her sick lawyer, Roberta Kaplan.
“Rachel Maddow just isn’t getting my cash for that penthouse and procuring spree E. Jean promised her on MSDNC. Rachel wears the identical outfit day by day anyway. Apart from, I don’t have $83 million. My third-rate legal professionals drained the cash I siphoned from my donors. I believed everybody knew I made that up about being a billionaire.
“I’ll inform you what: The concept Taylor Swift is extra fashionable than me is a joke. Her followers are 13 years outdated. They will’t even vote.
“Within the Rigged and Stolen election of 2020, I obtained essentially the most votes of any president in historical past. She doesn’t have extra followers than me. She doesn’t! And my followers are extra dedicated. Swifties gained’t stand in line so long as mine. They’ve by no means damaged into the Capitol for her. Oh, what an exquisite day that was.
“Now let me simply inform you, I’m two for 2, dominating in Iowa and New Hampshire, nice, nice, unbelievable states, very particular locations. Each place we go now we have tens of 1000’s of individuals outdoors each area. They must construct bigger arenas on this nation only for me, proper?
“Taylor looks as if a pleasant woman, slightly too healthful for my style. She did a Weight-reduction plan Coke advert and I like Weight-reduction plan Coke. She even obtained Birdbrain to take her daughter to a live performance. And certain, I’ve a Taylor friendship “BFF” bracelet. Who doesn’t? That neurotic dope Maureen Dowd as soon as compared me to a 13-year-old woman. SHE DOESN’T KNOW ME!
“Taylor extra fashionable than me? Improper! My motion is a lot larger and extra fanatical than her motion. I may beat her so badly. Melania has been on extra journal covers than Taylor. Extra males hit on Melania than Taylor.
“And Taylor shouldn’t have been Time journal’s Particular person of the Yr. I ought to have been on the quilt. I’m the best phenomenon in historical past! And it ought to nonetheless be Man of the Yr. What’s with ‘Particular person’?
“Like I told The Each day Caller, I want Taylor and Travis the most effective. I hope they get pleasure from their life, perhaps collectively, perhaps not. In all probability not. Too dangerous now we have to take Taylor down. I favored Taylor’s music about 25 p.c much less in 2018, when she endorsed that loser Phil Bredesen towards Marsha Blackburn in Tennessee. Then I favored her 50 p.c much less in 2020 when she accused me of attempting to ‘blatantly cheat and put thousands and thousands of Individuals’ lives in danger in an effort to carry onto energy,’ once I waged warfare on the publish workplace to undermine mail-in voting, as a result of these weenie Democrats didn’t wish to go away the home throughout Covid. If she endorses Biden once more, I’ll like her 200 p.c much less.
“SAD! However Taylor have to be destroyed. She and Travis can be deified as promenade king and queen on the Tremendous Bowl, particularly if 87 pops the query on America’s Holy Day like they’re in a Hallmark film. And nobody could be deified greater than me. I AM THE BIGGEST CELEBRITY ON THE PLANET! Jon Voight, that outdated Midnight Cowboy, in contrast me to Jesus, and my large followers assume God has despatched me to battle the Marxists and repair America, which is now a third-world nation.
“Taylor is being handled like an American icon, however I’m the American icon. I’m attempting to avoid wasting America by destroying democracy, the N.F.L. and Taylor Swift. I do know it may appear loopy to assault the issues that bind America. However I alone can repair it.
“MAGA is waging a Holy Warfare on her as a result of she’s going to induce individuals to vote, and that might be primarily suburban ladies who hate me. They inform me, ‘I don’t know if the suburban ladies such as you.’ Suburban ladies, will you please like me — I saved your rattling neighborhoods, OK?
“It’s pathetic that Crooked Joe Biden wants a pop singer to pull him over the end line. It didn’t assist Crooked Hillary when she obtained propped up by Bruce Springsteen, Beyoncé, Katy Perry, Christina Aguilera, Bon Jovi, Kelly Clarkson and Miley Cyrus. Talking of music, I hope Taylor doesn’t get a Grammy. I deserve a Grammy!
“Black voters, Hispanic voters, younger voters are coming to my facet as a result of I’m the best. The economic system is roaring and the inventory market is at report highs as a result of traders are projecting I’ll beat Biden.
“Biden’s aides must leak tales about how he calls me a Sick F-Phrase in personal as a result of I cheered on Jan. 6 rioters and I joke about Paul Pelosi getting hit with a hammer by a MAGA supporter. As if cursing like I do makes him a troublesome man. Apart from, I like violence. It provides some pleasure to the rallies.
“LOOK AT WHAT YOU MADE ME DO, Taylor. You and Mr. Pfizer are actually on the high of my enemies record. I don’t get too indignant, I get even. Hey, Taylor, that might be tune title for you!”
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